Dear Desire Detectives!
Pull out your magnifying glass and turn the page into chapter 4 of James’ insightful manual for Christian Lifehacking, as today we’re uncovering the clue lurking beneath the mystery of our own desires and disputes. As our expedition through the book of James continues, it’s time for some serious sleuthing!
1What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
James 4:1–3 (ESV)
Have you ever wondered, “Why do I find myself in so many conflicts?” James might as well be your personal detective, laying out the clues: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1). Yowza! It seems like the culprit has been hiding in plain sight all along: our very own desires!
Let’s pause our investigation for a brief theology snack break. The Greek term James uses for “desires” is “epithumia,” which Pastor Tim Keller refers to as “inordinate desires,” as “making good things into ultimate things.” So, it’s not just about wanting bad stuff; it’s about wanting even good stuff but too excessively, like eyeing that attractive someone, but turning romance into obsession by planning your golden anniversary after the first date. Or wanting good grades for your kids, but turning into a helicopter parent, making their lives miserable in a pressure cooker of performance. They’re not bad in and of themselves, but when they get out of control, watch out!
When our desires start calling the shots, you are not just eyeing what isn’t in your cart, but you’re ready to play Indiana Jones to snag it from others. When everyone does it then disputes dominate. Here’s the kicker: these inordinate desires are often what fuel our prayers. And then we wonder why we’re not getting what we ask for! James, being the straight shooter that he is, points out the obvious: “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3). Ouch, James! But the man has a point.
So, how do we solve this desire dilemma? The key is to recognize this, so we can address the core of the issue. We need to align our desires with God’s will and ask Him to guide us in what we should truly desire. When our wants align with God’s will, our prayers become powerful, and peace replaces conflicts.
Are you ready, Desire Detectives, to uncover the secret of peaceful living by taming our “epithumia”? It’s time to roll up our sleeves, hit our knees, and ask God to help us align our desires with His will.
How can I better align my desires and prayers with God’s will to promote peace?
We can better align our desires with God’s will by understanding what God desires from us. I remember a hymn we used to sing in my old church that stated what God desires of us is to do justly, love mercy and to walk humbly with our God. This hymn I later learned was taken from Micah 6:8. I think when this is the source of our desires we can better align ourselves with God’s desires.
In order to better align my desires and prayers with God’s will to promote peace, I must be reminded that our time here is temporary and all these worldly things are insignificant. May the Holy Spirit guide and protect me from desires and provide me with wisdom to fix my eyes on the Lord. ?
(from Hai)
Thanks for sharing about your son, Alan. Those are good and godly desires of a loving father.
“How can I better align my desires/prayers with God’s will?” One sure way is to be in God’s word everyday so that I know what His will is. I’ve also found that the more I’m in His word, the more He transforms my desires to reflect his own values and priorities
I can better align my desires and prayers with God’s will by reading His Word and spending time in prayer to know what I should truly desire. It is so easy to desire the things that this world offers, earthly things that ultimately have no lasting value. Spending time with God would help me realign my heart with His. I also think it’s important to seek the Lord daily, as it says that “those who seek the Lord will not be in need of any good thing”. Loving others as Christ loved me, servings others with the gifts He’s given me, and growing in my relationship with God should be heavenly desires that I should continue to strive for.
I can start by praying over my day, thoughts and activities. When I renew my mind in His Word and prayer I can have more peace about things. Also I can ask for more and trust in God’s wisdom to make different decisions. Often times when I find myself more busy I lack His peace and that is when I need to rely on Him even more.