[After King Saul promised to make peace,] Jonathan called David and told him what had happened. Then he brought David to Saul, and David served in the court as before. War broke out again after that, and David led his troops against the Philistines. He attacked them with such fury that they all ran away.
1 Samuel 19:7-8 (NLT)
From the battlefront, David wrote to Jeruziah:
Dearest Sister,
Your last letter was like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day, a reminder of the sanctuary that family provides. As I read your words, I was transported back to our home, to the warmth of our hearth and the comfort of our shared memories. Although I no longer have the sanctuary of home or family, it is the sanctuary of true friendship that has kept me safe and allowed me to grow thus far.
Ah, you should meet my friend Jonathan! A warrior of valor and integrity, yet also a prince of deep spiritual insight. Our souls are knit together, not by the threads of circumstance but by the unbreakable cords of divine purpose. He has shown me a friendship that mirrors the very character of God: full of Sympathy, Transparency, and Sacrifice.
Sympathy, dear sister, is not mere pity or a shallow sentiment. It is a profound understanding, a meeting of souls. Jonathan has this divine quality. He understands the weight of the crown and the sword, the burden of expectations, and the loneliness that comes with leadership. His sympathy is like a balm to my weary soul, a touch of divine understanding in a world that often misunderstands me.
Transparency is the next divine quality. With Jonathan, I can be my true self, unguarded and genuine. He told me everything in return, even the tensions among the royal family and the evil that lurks beneath the surface [1]. There are no veils between us, no secrets lurking in the shadows. Our friendship is a clear stream, transparent and pure, where even the pebbles at the bottom can be seen. This is a rare gift, one that allows us both to grow in grace and wisdom.
And then there is Sacrifice. Jonathan has risked his position, his reputation, even his life, to stand by me. He defended me before his father, King Saul, defying the very man who could take his life, to save mine. This is the ultimate sacrifice, a projection of the divine love that gives us our very life. There is no greater love than that of a man who would lay down his life for his friends.
As I prepare to lead my men into another battle against the Philistines, laying our lives down for the people of Israel, my thoughts meander to your sons, the Joab brothers. Though they are my nephews, the years that separate us are but a handful. Would you consider entrusting them to my care on the battlefield? A friendship could be forged in the crucible of shared battles and common foes. Over time, they could grow into mighty men, akin to Jonathan. For the company we keep often molds the clay of our becoming.
So, my dearest sister, I count myself blessed to have Jonathan as a kindred spirit. What of you? Are there souls in your life that you would call close friends? Do these friendships shimmer with the divine qualities we’ve spoken of? And most crucially, are these bonds drawing you nearer to the Divine?
With all my love,
David
Share with your friends “How do the friendships in your life measure up to the divine qualities of Sympathy, Transparency, and Sacrifice? What steps can you take to cultivate these divine qualities in your own friendships?”
[1] “Jonathan told David what had happened”. Without transparency, Jonathan would endanger David even more when he return to the court.
These pillars of friendship help keep a friendship alive. Without this foundation, it is hard to have a true friendship with others. Sympathy allows us to feel for each other. Transparency brings trust, and sacrifice deepens my friendships knowing that another would go out of their way for me. These can also be used in a team culture. My coach believed that the basis of vulnerability, trust and sacrifice surrounding Christ as well would deepen our team chemistry, which it did. To cultivate these I try to practice these pillars, even if I am not too close to the person.
(from Roger)
When I examine the friendships in my life, I know that the ones I cherish more, although all friendships are good, are the ones that have some measure more of the divine qualities of sympathy, transparency and sacrifice. Those are the qualities that create strong friendships because they reinforce why it is your friends with that individual to begin with. Those friends help you and sympathize with you when you need it, they help you get through situations in your life that are difficult. You also cherish them because they can be transparent with you and tell you like it is, regardless of whether your feelings will be hurt. Only real friends can do that because you’ve bonded on a much deeper level and you value their honesty and even go to them for the honest truth. Lastly, they have given much of themself to you, showing you that you’re important to them, thus exhibiting sacrifice and in return, I give equal parts back. I’ve learned from an early age to treat others as I want to be treated and I’ve applied this in my everyday life. I follow the mantra that in order to have friends and friends of consequence, you have to offer these qualities if you expect them in return. Now I know this isn’t always the case but I try on a daily basis to be the best friend I can be at that moment. By practicing the spiritual principles taught in NA, it becomes not so much abt me but abt my relationships with those around me. But first and foremost I’m learning I have to get right with god. I have to have a relationship with god and then all else will fall into place. I’m still learning abt this and have to tell myself to practice it because it’s so new. Thanks. I think I’m rambling now. Have a great day.
There are friendships in my life that can definitely measure up to the divine qualities of sympathy, transparency, and sacrifice. One of those is the friendship I had with Ai. From that friendship, I believe we realized that we were meant for each other. Besides that, I have good guy friends with whom I can open up to share my joy, my struggles, and my weaknesses. I think this type of friendship is a two-way street. It won’t work if it’s only one-sided, whether from me or the other person. Therefore, to cultivate it, I will continue to spend time together, share, and pray for each other.
When I look at the divine qualities that David talks about, I see it through the friendships in my life. My friends are compassionate and sympathetic. My friends are transparent and vulnerable. My friends sacrifice more than their time and energy to run this race of life with me. Because they are these things, it makes me it easier for me to have the same qualities to develop a deeper relationship. I recognize that without these things, my friendships would be mere surface level and be unable to keep God at the root at the center. I can continue to cultivate this with everyone else I will know and meet. It starts with reaching out to those I normally don’t talk to.
From sister Becky
The spiritual friendship of girlfriends I have are a group of women at RP who forms a group call WUC ( Women under Construction ) on Facebook and this is where I can post for my needs for prayers as needed and a couple of times I asked for prayers for my elderly dad while he was sick and each time these prayers were answered and i’m thankful for the many sisters in Christ who help prayed. “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them” (Matthew 18:20). I also see this group help create meal train for those who just had a baby and people sign up sacrificing their time to bring a meal to the family.
I have co worker friends who are Christians who I can ask for prayers when I need. I also shared my troubles to my missionary girlfriend and she is a woman of prayer.
Lastly, my husband is always the first to give me sympathy, who i can be transparent with and I know he would swim into the deep ocean to save me if he saw me drowning. I thank God for bringing spiritual friends into my life.
My non spiritual friends are also fun friends to hang out with and they are the one who looks up to me knowing i’m trying to be morally intact and God gave me these friends so I can show God’s love to them. I try to bear the fruits of the spirits when i’m around them:
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. — Galatians 5:22-23
We can learn much from Jesus, who told His disciples, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15).
He also said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
Jesus is the the ultimate sympathetic, transparent and sacrificial friend anyone can have.
The friendships in my life I would say do include sympathy, transparency, and some sacrifice. I remember when I’ve had issues or things arise, my friends were there for me and continue to still be there for me. Whenever I need them. I would also add that we do have transparency in calling each other out on things and being honest. Some have also be sacrificial as well. I Can remember Dimitri staying up late to be on FaceTime with me when my grandma passed. Then idk, I also asked him to just stay on the FaceTime as I fell asleep because I found it so hard to lay there alone, feeling the lost of grandma. Mike and Tu has several times woke up early and such to do me a favor in taking my sister to school when I asked them. Ofc many of them also sacrificed their time to hear me vent and everything else. I reciprocate these things back to them when I can. And I am glad to have these men as my friends. It can be hard sometimes to be consistent in getting deeper in our relationships. But hopefully I can do that soon again once I finish academy here.
“Do these friendships shimmer with the divine qualities we’ve spoken of? And most crucially, are these bonds drawing you nearer to the Divine? “.
These questions once again empathize that the friendships comes into our lives are divine appointments to help us experience what a true relationship with God is like. Jonathan’s “sympathy is like a balm to my weary soul, a touch of divine understanding in a world that often misunderstands me”. Jonathan’s transparency “is a rare gift, one that allows us both to grow in grace and wisdom.” And Jonathan’s “ultimate sacrifice, a projection of the divine love that gives us our very life. “
I am thankful that God places different people in my life to show me how me he loves me. The person that understands me most is Steve. Even when I am at my worst, he is so patient and understands my patterns of behavior and gives me grace. Not because he is excusing my bad behavior, but he understands that I am acting out of my emotions and gives me to come to my senses. 🙃
Transparency is hard for me…but since joining this group and posting in this group has helped me to be more transparent as I reflect on the daily readings. And with your sharing, I am learning more about how God works in other people’s lives and the power of God’s mercy and amazing grace during our weakest moments.
I think God is convicting me of sacrifice. Sacrifice is easy to do for people you already love and are conveniently around. But to give your time and care to others that God allows us to cross path with and make that relationship intentional for divine purposes is tough. I get so busy with my work and kids schedule that I am not building up new relationships. For the people we build up “ could grow into mighty men, akin to Jonathan. For the company we keep often molds the clay of our becoming.”
I believe I have a great group of friends who are willing to symphatize with me and hear me out, who tell me how it is, and make sacrifices to help me out or even others. I think for myself there are things I can work on. I’m not a very confrontational person so being transparent is hard for me at times because I just feel like calling someone out or talking about a touchy subject has always been hard for me. But I believe I am pretty good at the sympathy and sacrifice department though.