Do you know that marriage changes everything?
1Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. 3So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man. 4So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. 5For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
Romans 7:1-6 (NIV)
In Romans 7:1-6, Paul gives another answer to the question posed in Romans 6:15, “Does the gospel give us the freedom to live however we want?” His answer is a resounding “No!” Similar to his previous analogy about slavery, Paul explains that we can either be married to the law or married to Christ, but we can’t be unmarried.
Paul uses the analogy of marriage to illustrate his point. Just as the law of marriage is only binding if both husband and wife are alive, the law only has authority over us as long as we live. When we become Christians, we die to our old life and are “remarried” to Christ.
Being married to Christ means that every part of our life is affected by our relationship with Him. Just like in a marriage, we can’t simply live as we choose anymore. Our desires, decisions, and actions are now influenced by our love for Christ and our desire to please Him.
This doesn’t mean that we lose all freedom and independence. Rather, it means that we now have the opportunity to experience a deep love, intimacy, and security that we couldn’t have before. In a good marriage, we find joy in discovering and fulfilling the wishes of our beloved. Similarly, as Christians, we find joy in aligning our lives with Christ’s desires.
Before we were married to Christ, we were controlled by our sinful nature and the law only served to arouse our sinful desires. But now, through Christ’s death, we have been released from our old “marriage” to the law and are free to serve Christ in a new way, led by His Spirit.
This doesn’t mean that we ignore God’s moral law. Instead, we now see it as an expression of God’s desires and a way to honor the One we love. We obey not out of fear of rejection, but out of grateful joy and love for Christ.
Some might think that being saved by grace alone would make us lose all motivation to live a holy life. But if the only incentive we have to obey is fear of rejection, then we are still under the law. When we truly understand God’s grace and acceptance, our new incentive becomes grateful joy and love.
Ultimately, it is our identity in Christ that motivates us to live for Him. Knowing that we are slaves to God and belong to Christ as His beloved bride, how could we continue to live in sin? Why would we not want to please Him out of loving gratitude for all He has done for us?
In every moment, we have a choice: Will we live as though we are still slaves to sin and married to the law, or will we embrace our new identity in Christ and live to please Him? As Christians, our relationship with Christ is the foundation for a new life of love, joy, and obedience.
What new angle does the new metaphor of marriage convey that the old metaphor of slavery could not? How does the image of belonging to Christ in marriage motivate you to live in a way that pleases him?
[This material for Romans 6:15-7:6 was drawn from Tim Keller’s book “Romans 1-7 for You“]
I would say that the metaphor of marriage contained in today’s passage conveys a sense of intimacy that the metaphor of slavery does not. It is a recognition of God’s grace and love that fills us with an overwhelming gratitude which leads us to a desire to love Him as we should. “We love because He first loved us,” (1 John 4:19). The desires of our heart begin to change, as we seek to please Him out of this growing love for Him, and we develop an intimate relationship with Him. This intimacy then motivates us to live in a way that pleases Him. Then, reciprocally, we begin to come to an even deeper understanding of who He is and what He has done for us. This further deepens our intimacy with Him. “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that those who live would no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose on their behalf,” (2 Cor. 5:14-15). His deep love for us sparks the flame of our growing love for Him, which continues to grow as we spend more time beholding our Beloved.
The idea of a bad marriage resonates with me. If the marriage is one way in that you are working hard to keep the marriage and to hold onto that person you are married to but the other person doesn’t return your love then you will suffer and the marriage will more than likely fail. If the marriage is to the law or to sins then there is no reciprocal love there and it does feel a lot like slavery or at least an indenture ship.
On the other hand, a relationship with God is one where I can’t really give Him anything. He is the giver and everything that I give back to Him comes from Him in the first place including the love I give to the Father. God is happy when I think of Him and offer to Him what comes from Him in the first place. It is like our relationship with our children. They give us gifts on Father’s day with what we gave them in the first place. But it is not the gift but the fact that they remember that makes us happy. I feel God is like that, He is happy when we think of Him and is please with us when we utilize the resources He gave us wisely and to please Him.
In this relationship it is mostly one way…from God to us but in this relationship, we are clinging to God because we want to be near Him where there is safety and peace. Our children will one day move away from us and they will be independent and we want that for them because we know we cannot forever provide for them since we are limited. God on the other hand has no limits and He could provide for us and want to do so. It would be unwise indeed not to cling on to Him and if we could do a few small deeds to make Him happy then it is only because by helping Him we are helping ourselves – so even in this I check my motivation and it still feels like I’m self centered and selfish 🙁 – but aren’t all children that way until they mature? There is hope here though, the hope is that one day we will mature and all grown up – He is patiently waiting for us and He is faithful in giving us all the time we need to mature.