[After Nathan confronting David,] Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the LORD has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the LORD by doing this, your child will die.” “After Nathan returned to his home, the LORD sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?” When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the LORD. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate. His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.”
2 Samuel 12:13–21, NLT
The “elder and advisor” could be non other than David’s uncle Jonathan who wrote him, “We don’t quite understand how could you suffer through the death of your infant son like this?” And he wrote back below…
Dear Uncle Jonathan,
I write to you in the aftermath of a tempest that has shaken my soul to its very core. The loss of my infant son, a consequence of my own grievous sin, has been a crucible of unspeakable agony and yet, paradoxically, a vessel of profound grace.
In the depths of my despair, sprawled upon the cold, unyielding floor, I was confronted with the stark reality of my actions. The weight of my sin, the enormity of its repercussions, lay heavily upon me. It was a burden I could neither escape nor bear. Yet, in this abyss of sorrow, I found an unexpected companion: the presence of the Lord in His discipline. It is in these moments of utter brokenness that we are most receptive to His voice, most aware of our need for His grace.
This discipline, though harsh, was not the wrath of a vengeful deity but the corrective hand of a loving Father. It was a painful reminder that forgiven sins, while absolved, leave ripples that touch the shores of our lives and the lives of those around us. I was forgiven, yet nothing had changed in my life, yet. In my suffering, I was not being crushed; I was being changed. It was a divine surgery of the soul, cutting away the callousness that had formed around my heart.
Uncertainty shrouded my days of mourning. I prayed, fasted, hoped against hope for my child’s life [1]. Yet, in that uncertainty, my faith was tested and refined. I learned to trust in God’s character, even when His plans remained hidden from my eyes.
And now, my heart clings to a hope that transcends the pain of the present – the hope of God’s grace and the promise of eternal life with God [2]. It is the assurance that though my child cannot return to me, I shall one day go to him, in a place where pain and parting are no more; not by my merit, but by the boundless grace of the Lord.
So, as I rise from the floor of suffering, I do so not as a broken man, but as one remade by the grace of God. It is a grace that is as mysterious as it is powerful, turning our deepest regrets into testimonies of His redeeming love, a love that beckons us to rise, to worship, and to comfort others.
With a heart both broken and healing,
David
Share with your friends “How do you reconcile the idea of a loving God with the reality of suffering?”
[1] 2 Sam. 12:22
[2] Some people may think that when David said “though my child cannot return to me, I shall one day go to him” (2 Sam. 12:23), he meant that one day he shall die too, and not talking about life after death with God. But David was certainly very confident about this when he wrote Psalm 16:10–11, “For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”
The idea of reconciling a loving God with the reality of suffering can be very challenging. What can help is to understand that suffering is part of this earthly life and sin. In God’s steadfast love, He wants to comforts us, renew us, and redeem us. In our suffering, we can sometimes turn away from God and blame Him, but rather it is good to turn towards Him and be in tune with Him. David is a great example of this response. In his time of great suffering, David clung to God and was assured about his heavenly future. He demonstrated his trust and hope in God and was able to find peace in the midst of his suffering.
I reconcile suffering with a loving God by acknowledging and remembering the fact that He is all who He claims to be. What I mean by that is He protects, heals, provides, answers prayers, and so many more, all points to the fact that He is a God that is present and cares about His creation. So when His creation suffers on earth, it only means that He allows it to happen and what then is my response to my suffering? It’s because I have chosen, on my own free will, to turn away from God. Knowing all these facts and more about who God is yet I still turn away from Him, it is only my fault. But I firmly believe though I definitely have chosen to turn away from Him before, I understand that He is always there with arms open for me to return and like Dean said, it is just a part of a growing journey/walk with the Lord. God time and time proves that He can turn evil into good so with that, I know that as long as I remain in Him, He will be in me as well.
Being a mother, I can empathize with the pain David and, especially, his wife must have felt, even though the Bible doesn’t mention her in this situation. I think the greatest fear for me would be to deal with the death of my son. Only a mother can truly understand this kind of love. It’s interesting how David mourned while his son was alive but rose up when the son was dead. This shows how much he understood and knew about God and His grace. It requires tremendous faith in the One who holds our future. This reminds me to hold onto God daily so that I can endure the pain if it ever comes my way. Even though his sin was forgiven, he still had to deal with the consequences. To me, the consequences seemed too harsh, but who are we to question God?
(from Steve)
It is so true that God works in mysterious ways, when I was in my addiction I suffered mentally and physically and because of that I put all the blame on God. During this time of suffering I considered everything that has happened to me to be way I was being punished so I had allot of resentments towards God and everyone, it wasn’t until I had allot of free time sitting in a hospital bed I started seeing things in a different light, I started seeing miracles and the blessings that I was given, but it still took me a while to understand that I wasn’t being punished, I now understand and see that I was receiving discipline from a loving father and I’m so grateful for these lessons.
From Becky:
We are living on earth and this world is imperfect. There are evils in this world. On top of it, Satan are the rulers of the nonbelievers in this world. There will be chaos and temptations. When we fall into the trap of sin we are forgiven in Jesus’s name but the consequences will naturally follow. Consequences will cause suffering. God is a loving but a disciplined God who doesn’t want us to wander off. It is through disciplined and suffering that we are reminded to turn back to God for repentance and a change of heart. God does not want our heart to be harden so he continues to mold us and shape us. If God allowed us to do whatever we want without disciplining us then our soul might drift off away from God forever. However, there is no burden that God allow that we can’t bear, He is always there to help carry us through.
God is always restoring and bringing good out of evil. It just takes time. We need to wait on the Lord. If you’re in a season of pain and suffering, remember, you’re not alone. God loves you, and will work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:38)
I think the idea of reconciling the reality of suffering with a loving God is one of my difficulties for me. From Bumble, I knew that David believed that he would be reunited with his son in heaven, and he had complete faith in God. I can say that the people who have had this experience are also the people I am trying to reach. I see it as a wonderful thing, and I see it as a very difficult thing as well. What he did gave me courage.
God showed the greatest love for us through the suffering of His son Jesus Christ: dying on the the cross for our sins. Through His suffering, God’s glory and power was revealed. That is how I reconcile a loving God with the reality of suffering. While I may have my fair share of suffering, I know that God loves me so much that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I have and will continue to see the glory of God revealed through our suffering here in this world.
When I think about suffering, it’s caused by the consequences that we face with sin and other things that is part of the world. God is here to help guide us in these sufferings to humble us and to also comfort us. David’s story exemplify that approach in 2 Samuel 12:23, where he suffers through his consequence but is comforted to know that as he continues to submit to God, he will one day be able to see his dead child in God’s Kingdom.
-nikko