When envy consumed, it also controled Saul…
1 Samuel 18:10-12 (NLT)
10The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, 11and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. 12Saul was afraid of David, for the Lord was with David and had turned away from Saul.
[David’s Diary Entry]
Tonight, I sit alone in the dim light, my harp silent beside me, its strings as tense as my own nerves. The spear’s shadow still lingers, a phantom aiming for my heart. Saul, the Lord’s anointed, hurled it with a madness that defies understanding. Twice, the spear sought my life; twice, the Lord’s hand guided me away.
I find myself at a crossroads, a place where destiny and duty clash like the crashing cymbals. Could it be that the Lord has placed me here, in the palace of a mad king, to learn the lessons only a mad king can teach? Saul’s madness is a dark mirror, reflecting the potential chaos that lies within us all. It’s a lesson in power, a lesson in humility, and perhaps, a lesson in the kind of king I should strive not to become.
Ah, Merab and Michal, the daughters of Saul. Could it be that through marriage to one of them, I might find a path to the throne? A path ordained by God? Yet, the throne is not my aim; my aim is to serve the Lord and to walk in His ways. If that path leads to the throne, so be it. But if it leads to a broken life away from the splendid palace to a valley of the shadow of death [1], I will walk it with equal joy if God is with me.
I am afraid of Saul, but not for the reasons one might think. I fear what he represents—the corrupting influence of power, the ease with which a man after God’s own heart can lose his way. I am afraid of becoming a king, who 20 years after your coronation, will be the most incredibly skilled spear thrower in all the realm. And also by then… Quite mad.
So here I am, in the stillness of the night, wrestling with questions that have no easy answers. Do I stay and serve a king who has lost his way, trusting that the Lord will guide me? Or do I leave, preserving my life but perhaps abandoning a divine assignment? It’s a decision that weighs heavy on my soul, and one that I cannot make lightly.
As I sit here, pondering what lies ahead, I wonder: How would God show me His way when I am at the crossroads of uncertainty, armed with only a desire to please Him? How will I know His Truth so that I can be guided by Him when His Word doesn’t speak clearly about what I should do? [2]
Oh David, in the midst of your tears and frustration, remember that: you know only the question, not the answer.
No one knows the answer.
Except God. But would He tell?
Share with your friends “How would God show you His way when you are at the crossroads of uncertainty, how would you be guided by Him when the Bible doesn’t speak clearly about what you should do?”
[1] Psalm 23:4
[2] Psalm 25:4-5
Please pray for Joey he agreed to go to a meeting with Roger tomorrow at noon. 🥹😭🙏🏻 this has been very heavy on my heart and this is God answering my prayers. This is a big deal and there’s hope if he follows through.
This relates with today’s reading for me. Even during though times and uncertainty at times I feel as if there’s no hope for Joey and I feel that it’s constant battle for us to co-parent. God works in mysterious ways as long as we stay faithful in him and through prayer. I’ve been praying very hard for Joey to be able to experience peace and Gods love. And Joey finally opened up to me and shared that he has been in a dark place since he lost his dad and wants to find a new way of life. I’m so grateful that he opened up.
I pray that the Holy Spirit continue to work through me and I pray that the Holy Spirit be with Joey and Roger tomorrow that Joey will give himself a break and go to the meeting tomorrow that he can have an open mind and open heart to hear a message of hope tomorrow. I will be there to guide him as a friend and I pray that will be able to co-parent so that Joshua can see God’s grace. Please keep them in your prayers 🙏🏻🥹
(from Roger)
Great question. I echo all the same sentiments that Don has mentioned already and I think the answer truly lies a great deal in being still and speaking with god through prayer and meditation. I all too often will analyze a situation and look at the multiple outcomes and pick one based on my needs and self will. Whatever outcome will play out best for me. But what I’m coming to find out is that god doesn’t live so much in the mind as he does the heart and if u seek him, he will answer u, many times in indirect ways and through mediums you may not expect. God truly works in mysterious ways and if given the opportunity, he will not lead u astray. But the critical point for me is one has to seek him, and for me, in order to do that, that requires a pause. That requires me to be still and be peaceful. Don’t let all the running thoughts in my head dictate what my next action will be. This is still difficult for me, but with practice and a lot of self reflection, I’m able to see where I’m weak in faith and just remind myself, often times after I’ve acted on self-will to allow the next opportunity to be a learning one, where I can practice the skill of prayer and meditation, and ultimately get closer to god in my walk. Before I believed in god, but knew there was a higher power, because of the very clear evidence that something was doing for me what I could not, I sought people with solution or clean time, in my experiences, and asked them for direction. I know I was an example of self-will run riot so having solid people around me really helped me through the hardest days of my 90 clean days and I was able to persevere. I think don u hit the nail on the head. Thanks for ur share.
When I’m at the crossroads of uncertainty, I pray for wisdom and discernment about what to do in the situation. In the past, when I am unsure about what to do, God has spoken to me through this Word and through wise counsel. Life is filled with different uncertainties and I am reminded that we need to surrender our worries and anxieties over to Him. When we look at the situation we may feel fear and anxiety. We know that in God “perfect love cast out all fears.” When we look beyond the situation and put our hope in Him we can experience His peace.
The Bible is His word that speaks to us as guidance. ‘Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path’ (Psalm 119:105). Therefore, when I’m at the crossroads of uncertainty, I pray and read the Bible to seek God’s help. Sometimes, He sends His people to help and guide me in solving the problems I face. So, I can conclude that God’s guidance can come through older people, family, friends, and unpredictable events in our lives.
I think the way God speaks to show you the path during crossroads is speaking thrugh people and his word. I believe God can speak through people especially people who are older and wiser and people you look up to. I also think God speaks through you as you feel peace for what he wants you to do.
When I find myself at the crossroads of uncertainty, I pray to God to guide me along the path He has prepared for me. I remain humble and take actions that are within my ability and align with God’s word. During these moments, I don’t make decisions on my own; instead, I believe that as long as you sincerely present your difficulties to God, He will make a way for you.
From sister Rose
The Bible doesn’t always speak clearly about things. Some, man made into Gods truth but if we look closer it’s more of ones opinions than what is biblical. How I find my way when things are uncertain is I look at how pleasing it would be to God if I decided one way or another. Is it a sin and if my decision is more in fear and reverence before God or is it fear before others and afraid of their judgement on me rather than God.
I don’t always have the answer when things are uncertain but I think if a decision is made with prayer, careful consideration and a desire to be obedient then that would be the path to take.
God shows me his way when I am at the crossroads of uncertainty by showing his true powers, his sovereignty, his grace as I remain faithful to him. Furthermore, yes, the Bible does not speak clearly about what I should do. But God speaks to us in various ways. I know this to be true because just last year, I did feel like I was at an all time high. I felt my relationship with God going so well. Everything in life was just pretty much going smoothly as well. I was serving him and he was showing his grace then….suddenly things began happening to my grandma, my mom. She was everything to me after God. Starting in August, a sexual assault happens to her and I am just left in scrambled, feeling so so defeated. Not sure how the Lord could let this happen to her who was so faithful to him, who lived out a life glorifying to him. She is the reason why I even know the Lord. I remembered back to how emotional my grandma gets talking about Jesus and the transformation he did in her life. So I was so confused, so defeated as to how this could happen. This left her just completely out of it. It just broke my heart seeing how she was, I tried what I could to cheer her up or get her mind off of it. But I don’t even know. Then just as that was getting taken care of. Then comes the major major health problems. What was a simple, oh she can’t have a bowel movement, we just have to clear her kidney out leads to an infection, leads to liver cancer, leads to trying to comfort her because she was so mad to be left in the hospital despite feeling okay and wanting to leave to go home, leads to her losing her feeling in her legs and left arm, limited to just using her right arm, then ulcers in her stomach, then she goes to the ICU, then she is having trouble eating, then limited in her talking, then it becomes very limited in her talking. Then that day comes…November 6, 2022. I remember telling her to keep fighting because she was fighting so hard, God was watching her and helping her through all these battles. On November 4, telling her….just 1 more month until her birthday! We talked about I should bring in for her to eat for her birthday and we shared a laugh….a laugh I had not been able to share with her for a few months at that point. It was awesome to have had that. The situation was bleeding out and affecting my sister and my uncle too. I had to also deal with them and try to calm them or whatnot. I share this because through all this, it was very hard, I came to God questioning so much, I was so frustrated as I was praying to him, I cried out to him in frustration. I was so uncertain about so much. But I kept sticking to him, the people God put around me like Pastor Bumble, Jenney, Timmy, Bao, They all reminded me of God’s love. They all kept me in line with the Lord. The Lord sent them. Dr. Hai even sharing the story of Job to me, then Timmy echoing this. Then I come across another summary story of Job over and over again. In this, I kept also my faith in him, just trying my best to fully trust him. I kept following him despite all my questioning and frustration, “my crossroads of uncertainty”. God then spoke to me through his people, through the Holy Spirit and then also through his scripture. God did so again through where he was calling me in my career. I remember also being at a crossroads up until that moment as well. Just very stuck in a lot of ways. But God prevailed again and worked his miracles, he delivered in his own special way. He led me to where he wanted and needed me. So in summary, what should one do in these moments. Continue to look to him, continue to speak and consult with the Lord and be faithful to him. Everything will tie together and you’ll see his will for you, his plans for you will slowly become more and more clear. Let his grace and mercy work itself out.